He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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