Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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