I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i've created a new STD.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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