"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just high enough for therapy.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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