I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
