You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
