We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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