If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
