Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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