Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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