Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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