Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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