I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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