so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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