Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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