I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
