you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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