does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
