babies were throwing up all over the place
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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