I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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