I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
