I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize