I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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