You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off