I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.