Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I see lights

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.

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  (254): I see lights (512): Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home. http://tfl.nu/1708
  Replies (5) Good night (1426) Bad night (568)
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  (626): View more from California

  i need an iv and a liver transplant

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  (626): i need an iv and a liver transplant http://tfl.nu/lbut
  Replies (4) Good night (2535) Bad night (903)
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  (650): View more from California

  this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away

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  (650): this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away http://tfl.nu/b3o0
  Replies (45) Good night (708) Bad night (3005)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  wtf you measured my hair?

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  (604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1
  Replies (20) Good night (1398) Bad night (4545)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore

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  (480): Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore http://tfl.nu/oifq
  Replies (27) Good night (820) Bad night (5272)
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  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

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  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (9977) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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  (774): I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books. http://tfl.nu/zd3b
  Replies (14) Good night (4005) Bad night (861)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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  (401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu
  Replies (12) Good night (5076) Bad night (977)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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  (415): Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in http://tfl.nu/whuh
  Replies (14) Good night (4598) Bad night (2212)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1116) Bad night (3729)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame

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  (310): I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame http://tfl.nu/qjff
  Replies (14) Good night (3415) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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  (505): He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand. http://tfl.nu/5zt4
  Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (1961)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.

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  (423): She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties. http://tfl.nu/apy4
  Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes

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  (647): my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes http://tfl.nu/v9rt
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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  (315): Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade. http://tfl.nu/7c7r
  Replies (2) Good night (82) Bad night (51)

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