Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
  Replies (21) Good night (4679) Bad night (806)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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  (817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z
  Replies (44) Good night (913) Bad night (4214)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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  (978): ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have http://tfl.nu/u3xa
  Replies (17) Good night (1173) Bad night (5965)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have another pimple on my ass cheek.

  (420): View more from

  I'll be there in 10 minutes.

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  (415): I have another pimple on my ass cheek. (420): I'll be there in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3vda
  Replies (25) Good night (1099) Bad night (7985)
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  (854): View more from

  i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews

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  (854): i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews http://tfl.nu/lvjo
  Replies (8) Good night (1794) Bad night (846)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness

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  (515): Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness http://tfl.nu/59mb
  Replies (3) Good night (2331) Bad night (1040)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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  (513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (1471) Bad night (3529)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

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  (207): No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/mlps
  Replies (14) Good night (1391) Bad night (3921)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats

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  (775): Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats http://tfl.nu/kxcv
  Replies (2) Good night (1489) Bad night (606)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1300) Bad night (552)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."

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  (541): So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here." http://tfl.nu/zbul
  Replies (5) Good night (1876) Bad night (419)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does

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  (574): No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does http://tfl.nu/khj9
  Replies (8) Good night (991) Bad night (659)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox

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  (734): nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox http://tfl.nu/ge10
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (502)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.

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  (970): Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush. http://tfl.nu/v4yp
  Replies (0) Good night (792) Bad night (326)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?

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  (401): Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer? http://tfl.nu/q3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (318)

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