her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
