walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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