oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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