i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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