Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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  (712): I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up. http://tfl.nu/k85m
  Replies (14) Good night (4517) Bad night (1425)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

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  (903): I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better. http://tfl.nu/5s87
  Replies (43) Good night (1471) Bad night (5299)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times

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  (516): i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times http://tfl.nu/hu9z
  Replies (30) Good night (638) Bad night (3034)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10211) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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  (917): i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing http://tfl.nu/u02m
  Replies (21) Good night (5396) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

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  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9538) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping

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  (216): He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping http://tfl.nu/ku3q
  Replies (9) Good night (1018) Bad night (3172)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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  (516): The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me. http://tfl.nu/o6eb
  Replies (6) Good night (2843) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...

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  (405): He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door... http://tfl.nu/vmh9
  Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game

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  (415): I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/4656
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked

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  (214): we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked http://tfl.nu/kx03
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?

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  (818): Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"? http://tfl.nu/rwp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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  (515): After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm http://tfl.nu/0xl4
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...

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  (717): You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat... http://tfl.nu/k4we
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am

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  (724): He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am http://tfl.nu/u9dt
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (281)

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