Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

  (1-916): View more from California

  High five!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?" (1-916): High five! http://tfl.nu/3w1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2590) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1818) Bad night (2347)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone http://tfl.nu/40xl
  Replies (58) Good night (669) Bad night (3433)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  How bad was it?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): How bad was it? (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth http://tfl.nu/i16m
  Replies (23) Good night (5090) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them. http://tfl.nu/b2tk
  Replies (33) Good night (4689) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
  Replies (19) Good night (5689) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog. http://tfl.nu/lwrd
  Replies (11) Good night (5769) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady http://tfl.nu/zjtt
  Replies (5) Good night (888) Bad night (2369)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler. http://tfl.nu/6sno
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end? http://tfl.nu/mjc4
  Replies (3) Good night (1789) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away http://tfl.nu/9ufh
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going. http://tfl.nu/0q0d
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you http://tfl.nu/56sg
  Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (288) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (199)

Randomize