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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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• (415): View more from California

  the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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• (607): View more from New York

  his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"

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• (631): View more from New York

  Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out

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