I'm lost and stupid without you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon