yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
