I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
