dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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