new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
