So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
