So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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