Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
