I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
