I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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