I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize