i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
