I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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