he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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