Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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