I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.