Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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