I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died