listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..