Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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