I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
