Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
