i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
