Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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