we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
