you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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