I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As shirtless as possible
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
