From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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