the condom got lost in my hair
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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