I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My balls are so social today.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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