I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
