Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
