I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
