Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
