there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want her autograph on my taint
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Success! We fucked roommates!
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